D
onna Cleszykowski was born with kidneys that were too small. She didn’t know it until she was almost twenty and began having terrible headaches. Tests revealed kidney problems as well as high blood pressure.
In 1981, she started dialysis, and soon she was going to the hospital twice a week for treatments. Although dialysis kept her alive and able to work at a bank, it was not the sort of life Donna had envisioned. She was beginning to realize that because of her shaky health, her dreams of meeting a wonderful man, getting married and raising a family would probably never come true. And although she tried to be grateful for the blessings she did enjoy, especially her family, sometimes life seemed hard indeed.
One of the bright spots in Donna’s life was Kathy, another dialysis patient. Sick since childhood, Kathy had been on dialysis for six years, and she seemed resigned to it. Donna, however, still hoped for a way out.
“Have you ever considered a kidney transplant?” Donna asked Kathy one day.
“Yes,” Kathy answered slowly. “In fact, my younger brother Ray told me on my wedding day - when he was sixteen - that he’d give me one of his kidneys any time.
“That’s wonderful! Are you going to do it?” Donna asked.
Kathy shook her head. “Transplants aren’t foolproof. I’ve known dialysis patients who died after receiving a kidney. And what about Ray? Would it be fair for him to take this kind of risk for me?”
“Maybe he’d want to take it, if it meant you’d be well” Donna pointed out.
Ray Pokorny sounded like a great brother. But Kathy shook her head. She had thought about it, but she was too afraid to take the chance.
Donna knew there were complications with transplants. At least on dialysis, she was alive. And yet, she often wondered, what kind of life was she having? She had always been close to God, and she had asked him many times for a healing. He had said no - at least she assumed he had - and she could live with that. But should she, if there was something she could do to change the situation?
Donna continued her dialysis, but her condition worsened and she had to quit her job. Her health continued to deteriorate, and on Christmas Day, 1984, she looked around at her loved ones with a sinking heart. The longer she stayed on dialysis, the worse she was probably going to get. Would she even be here next Christmas? Her uncle Johnny, carrying out a Polish custom of sharing blessed water, had just wished Donna “health and a successful transplant.” But she hadn’t even put herself on the list. Should she try for a miracle?
Yes. Somehow it seemed right. She had prayed. If God had anything else in mind for her, she was willing to try it.
In September 1985, Donna received a new kidney. The operation was a complete success, and when Kathy came to see her, she could hardly believe her eyes. Donna had lost a large amount of weight. “You’re so tiny!” Kathy exclaimed. But Donna was healthy too - everyone could see that. And life began to change for her.
She had a lot more energy and couldn’t remember ever feeling so well. She could eat foods that had been forbidden before, so she gradually gained weight. She was able to return to work. And she started another habit as well, reciting each day a petition she had found in a little book. “Prayer for a Good Spouse,” it was called. And why not? If the Lord had restored her health, he might have other blessings in mind for her too.
One unexpected benefit from her own surgery was the change in Kathy. Reassured by Donna’s rapid recovery, Kathy finally overcame her fears. She asked her brother if he remembered volunteering his kidney all those years ago, and he said, “Sure - let’s go for it.”
Just a few weeks later, Kathy underwent surgery, with the same positive results. Ray too recovered with no difficulties. What a fine brother Ray was, Donna thought. To risk something like this for love. She hoped she’d get the chance to meet him someday and tell him so.
Christmas 1985 was far different than the one before. It was Donna’s parents’ turn to host the extended clan for Christmas Eve, so Donna bought champagne for a celebration toast. She thought for a long time about what to say, how to express her gratitude for their love and support and for all the prayers that had been answered. In the end, she simply raised her glass and thanked them all.
By the time Uncle Johnny came to her with the traditional blessing of water, most of the guests were weeping. “Donna,” he said simply, “for you I wish continued good health, and whatever you wish for.”
Whatever she wished for? Despite the joy of this day, Donna still held some fear in her heart. Was she truly cured, or might her kidney problems recur? Would she always be alone, or would there be a special someone in her life one day?
A few weeks later, Kathy invited Donna to a family gathering at her mother’s house. The two hadn’t seen each other since Kathy’s surgery, and they wanted to share transplant experiences. Donna found the apartment and rang the bell. No one answered. She rang again. Did she have the wrong address, or the wrong date?
Suddenly, a young man wrenched open the door, his hair still wet from the shower. “Hi!” he grinned. “You’re...?”
“Donna Cleszykowski.” She put out a hand. “I’m a friend of Kathy’s...”
The young man took her hand, his eyes warm. “I know who you are,” he said. “I’m Ray Pokorny.”
Donna does not say that it was love at first sight, although Ray might disagree. (To this day, he remembers exactly what she was wearing that night.) But he proposed just a few months later. And she didn’t have to consider very long. “Ray,” she asked him one day just before the wedding, “did you ever ask God for anything in return, after you decided to take the risk and be a donor?”
Ray looked somewhat abashed. “I asked God to use my kidney to give Kathy a long healthy life,” he answered, “and...”
“And...”
“That if he gave me anything, it would be a woman for me to love and marry.”
Donna has long since passed the “Prayer for a Good Spouse” on to someone else, and she and Ray are enjoying the additional blessing of their adopted son, Stevie. God had not said no to her at all she has discovered. He had simply said, not yet. There were events that had to happen, love that had to be given before her own answers could come, and the plan sometimes proceeds more slowly than we understand. But it does proceed, for God is never late. The Pokornys can attest to that.
- Joan Wester Anderson